All Bad Jokes

Funny Jokes

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well ...

Cell Phone Jokes

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone ...

Tax and IRS Jokes and Quotes

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity ...

Accounting Jokes

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says ...

Teacher Jokes

new teacher is trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She starts her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up." After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up ...

Bad Jokes

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me". His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill" ...

Clean Jokes

A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?" God said ...

Blonde Jokes

Blonde and Sheepherd. Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. ...

Retirement Jokes

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?'' ...

Kids Jokes

Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good?, that's perfect! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? ...

Computer Jokes

Are Computers Men or Women? A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine ...

Dirty Jokes

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings. She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?" The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want." So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara ...

Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle. Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo mama has ...

Wedding Jokes

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly ...

Redneck Jokes

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck: 1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations ...

George Bush Jokes

Bush and Powell in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" ...

Short Jokes

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood. ...

Baby Jokes

Things not to say during childbirth. Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts? I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes ...

Birthday Jokes

A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing "Happy Birthday." Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped ...

Irish Jokes

Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drives his new BMW into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is, "Top o' the morning to ya" ...

Asian Jokes

Old Chinese Proverbs: Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day ...

Mexican Jokes

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter. The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says ...

April Fools Jokes

Get an empty toothpaste bottle, and cut a slit at the very bottem. Then fill it with sour cream and mayo mixed together. Then, when you are finished, hot glue the end back on so that the "mix" doent come out. When all done, let it sit in fridge for a while, so it will harden, then set in the bathroom, and watch your victim get ...

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways ...

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