Tax Jokes

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Your Tax Dollars

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.

Luxurious Villa

"How have you managed to buy such a luxurious villa while your income is so low?" asked the IRS auditor.

"Well," the taxpayer answered, "while fishing last summer I have caught a large golden fish. When I took it off the hook, the fish opened his mouth and said, 'I am a magical fish. Throw me back to the sea and I'll give you the most luxurious villa you have ever seen'. I threw the fish back to the sea, and got the villa."

"How can you prove such an unbelievable story?"

"Well, you can see the villa, can't you?"

Tax Deductible

Rabbi Rabinovitz answers his phone.

"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Rabbi Rabinovitz?"
"It is."
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I'll try."
"Do you know Sam Cohen?"
"I do."
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is."
"Did he donate $25,000 to the synagogue rebuilding fund last year?"
"He will!"

Second Notice

A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.

"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

Other Tax and IRS Jokes and Quotes

America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.

Our government really takes care of us. They even give us free income tax forms.

Nothing makes a person more modest about their income than to fill out a tax form.

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.

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Medical Uniforms

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